Sea Glass Thoughts
Yellow and pink sea glass shards. Not pure sea glass, not quite frosted smooth enough – but beautiful to me. Their undersides reveal them to have been plates at one time – I imagine candy dishes. Filled with bonbons. Sitting on a side table of a grandmother, who waits for her grandchildren to come visit. Love laid out in a candy dish. An offering of sweetness, from her to them, without a word.
Love offerings everywhere; and me unable to hold them all. I think that is why I cried when I was on the island, where I found these two pieces, pink and yellow. Rare colors, but not on this beach. Not on this beach where my eyes could not miss the treasure. Had I brought buckets, I could not have emptied the sands of its sea glass treasures. It felt like too much; I felt like a child dropped in the middle of Disney World with no restrictions. Why did I feel a rising anxiety, after I felt excited and happy?
I wouldn’t make the right choices. I would miss a spectacular something that was right there at my finger tips. Whatever I chose, they would not be the best ones. Even if somebody offered me my heart’s desire, I wouldn’t be wise enough, or smart enough, or have enough vision, to reach out and grab it. Instead, I would remain blind to it. Leave it on the beach for someone else to find and take it. I would lose, forever, my one chance at happiness.
My meditation practice teaches me to be aware of those feelings, to let them flow through me, bringing my attention to them. The discomfort. The sadness. The confusion. Waiting to see if they had anything to show me.
And this is what I learned on that day. I bring myself to any experience. When I took a breath, asked God to help me choose, trusted that whatever I filled my pockets with would be enough ~ it was.
I see now, that had I left that day with only these two pieces, yellow and pink, it would have been enough. Enough because I saw and appreciated them. Because I imagined a story for them. Because I cared enough to pick them out of the sand and rocks. This addict is finally understanding, in every moment, in every breath, life offers itself like the sea glass on a beach. No hurries. No worries. An abundance of blessings designed to build my trust. I need never feel empty again. When yellow and pink glass from broken plates, makes me happy, surely the happiness rests inside of me, not outside?
I know most of us, right now, no matter what is happening in our lives, have more blessings than buckets to hold them. A grateful heart is what opens our eyes to the treasure lying at our feet.
